Tuesday, January 27, 2009

One very sweet lesson

So my Sydney girl is trying to stop taking naps during the day.  It has been a very long journey for the both of us.   I have surrendered the idea a couple of times and 2 weeks ago I decided to surrender again and not try to force the nap thing.  So mon she falls asleep around 4:00 watching cartoons and then she does the same thing on tues.  So in my wisdom I think fine she obviously still needs a nap tomorrow she is going to take one no matter what.  So Wed I am ready for battle, I will show no mercy, I will not give up until she is asleep.  Well after about an hour and half I surrender.  As she is enjoying her victory she asks me a simple question and I answered her back not very nice apparently because her comment back to me was "ok mom we need to help you be happy"  Then she proceeds to ask me if I need one of her treasured stuffed animals to help me be happy.  I think that a bucket of ice cold water would have been less of a shock then to hear her say that to me.  The whole rest of the day I did some major thinking and praying.  I realized that too many times lately I feel like her and I are in some kind of battle.  She is realizing more every day that she has agency.  I used to put her cereal in front of her and she would eat it happily, and a million other things that she would just do happily.  The other day I asked her to eat her cereal and she said very kindly "I don't have too."  Uummmmm your right but do it anyway.  So anyway to make a long story short I decided that I was at a major fork in the road.  I could continue down the path I was on which I am pretty sure was going to lead me to many years of wishing that my daughter would talk to me, and wishing that she would listen and respect my opinion, or I could remember that she is still a child and I don't need to teach her how to be everything I want her to be every second of every day.  If I want her to be loving and patient to her sister Hope I should probably set a much better example of that.  If I want her to show compassion when her sister is being a stinker and crying because Syd did something or took something, perhaps I should try showing Syd a little compassion when she is being a stinker.  If I want her to respect others opinions maybe I should try respecting hers.  I also know that it is my responsibility to teach her and not to let her do whatever she wants but that is a much finer line then I ever thought it would be.  My plan is to live so I can be worthy of the promptings that I so desperately need to help keep me in the right place as her mother.  Someone who she knows loves her, and respects her, and cares about her, and has compassion, who is constant, patient, and charitable.  No pressure right:) 

3 comments:

Baum Family said...

That was very touching! I need to be better too its hard, but no ones perfect and she is so kind and very respectful in nursery so you are all ready doing a great job!! anyway.. the whole nap thing, Bailey is four and a half and still falls asleep on the couch watching T.V. So I just let her sleep for like 45mins and then wake her up that way she gets a little cat nap, and she still goes to bed on time.

Tan+Charee+Chloe+Tru said...

how inspiring!! i love that you shared that it makes look at myself and examine. your a good mom because your always searching and growing i love and admire you more that you'll ever know! i can't wait to see all of you and be around you!!

Unknown said...

she's an angel isn't she. it's amazing what they teach us. she's lucky to have sweet parents that love & guide her so carefully. lovies~ nana lew.